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Didem Gurdur Broo

If you saw my face just right now, you would not believe that the person who writes this is me. I have checked that face a minute ago in the mirror and even I do not believe that it is me. I do not look like myself at all. I have 8 stitches just above my right eyebrow but I do not know exactly where they are even though it has been four days after the accident.

So I have come to the home after a wonderful NordDesign 2018 conference in Linkoping on Friday afternoon. I have this thing that when I come home I have to open some windows this time of the year. My plan was to cook some food and spend the night cuddling with my wife and cats. I couldn’t even finish the cooking part when I saw a door frame falling. It was leaning on one of the windows and this was the first time I have seen it. We are building a balcony for some time now, people just left it there and I had no idea that it was not secured at all. I guess the wind moved it somehow. The only thing I remember is that it was falling down and Lucky was very close to it. Instead of doing nothing and letting that heavy door frame hit something, I had the idea to run there and catch it! Yeah, it was not the smartest idea. The next thing I remember is warm blood on my face and me thinking that my idea didn’t work because both I and the frame was on the floor. What a evening and night we had! Big thanks to our neighbors that helped me to go to the hospital and waited with me until Johanna came.

Now, I am home resting and, actually, not allowed to spend so much time on a computer or any kind of screen, which is a big test and as you can see I am failing. But hey, I did not read or do anything on computer for 4 days now. What can I say, it is boring. My only hope is, to write this post quite quickly and we act like it never happened. The reason I am writing this is actually not about the accident but the new information I am getting after the accident about my brain. This head concussion made me have a short memory loss. I had very weird hallucinations like seeing stars everywhere (which was a bit of fun actually). Apparently, bruising our brain is more complicated than I thought and requires a long time to recover. I had one strong hit and a chain of things started to happen one after another one. Memory loss, blurry eyes, swollen face but most incredible one is this tingling feeling on my head. Obviously, when we shake our brain this much some neurons get damaged and now they are trying to find new paths to continue to work properly. Isn’t this fascinating? There are new neuron paths in making in my brain. I am sure in literature they have fancier words to describe this phenomenon. Yesterday, I come across something like regeneration or something but I forgot it already. I feel that my brain is acting quite slow and I promised to not push it harder. So you have to leave with this mystery now 🙂 What is the term for constructing new neuron paths?

Joking aside, I feel a little concerned. The doctor said that it is normal. They have given me a paper with a list of things that can happen and ensured that these are all normal. Still, you know, my brain is kinda all I have really. Isn’t it the same for all of us?

It will be so cliche but I feel so lucky. This accident could have ended differently and, possibly, change my whole life forever. I am just hoping that the headaches, vision problems and the effects of it get better soon.

Be safe and when doors start to fall down, do not try to be a hero 🙂 Only when things go wrong we understand what a miracle it is that we are alive and healthy. I will not take it for granted. After a night at the ER, I strongly suggest you to be nice to yourself today. So many people are in pain, afraid, hurt without even knowing what is wrong with them. I am happy that it did not get so much worse for me. I do not have the best face, cannot make sense of who this person who stares back to me is but I am recovering and hope to be back soon.

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